My Secret Superpower

LAConV was big.

Not ComicCon big, but thousands of people converged on the Anaheim Convention Center to talk about science fiction, fantasy and horror. A lot of well-known authors were there, people I wanted to meet. Approaching them can be intimidating experience, especially for a first-time attendee (which I was).

Fortunately, I have a secret superpower.

You see, back when I was a teenager in the 1980’s, I hung out with bands. Most weekends, my friend and I would drive to Los Angeles, eager to escape the stultifying desert town where we lived. I don’t know what my parents were thinking, but they allowed me to go. On two conditions. They made it clear that if my grades dropped or if I got into any sort of trouble, the deal was off. I eagerly embraced my freedom, and made sure I never gave them a reason to withdraw the offer.

Since where I lived was a two-hour drive from LA, we would often show up to concerts early. We spent some of our time hanging outside the stage door. I met a lot of bands this way. Some of them would go on to be staples of what became known as classic “new wave” music. Simple Minds, Echo & the Bunnymen, Icicle Works, The Replacements, R.E.M, The Fixx, The Church…I could go on, but you get the picture.

Waiting by the stage door, I got to meet them when they arrived for sound check. And I always made a point of walking up and talking to them. Many times, the conversations were brief, limited to a hello. But sometimes, I was invited backstage for sound checks, to a nearby diner for lunch, or to a party after the show was over.

So, what’s the secret of approaching celebrities?

·      Do your homework: Know the people you plan to approach. Look at their pictures so you know what they look like (this applies more to authors than rock stars). Make sure you get their name right. One of the most embarrassing things I saw was when a woman approached Ian McCullock, the lead singer of Echo & The Bunnymen. She ran up to him, screaming “I love you, Echo!” One, no one likes a person screaming at them, so don’t do it. And two, know the people you admire. Know there is no Echo in Echo & The Bunnymen. I remember looking at him and asking if this happened a lot. The look he gave me spoke volumes.

·      Compliment them but keep it short: Most people love to be told how much their work is appreciated. But sometimes people go overboard with too much praise, to the point that it becomes fawning and uncomfortable. Most interactions with famous people should be brief.

Me (left) with T. Kingfisher

To use an example from LAConV, I approached T. Kingfisher and told her that my book club had just read What Moves the Dead, her retelling of Edgar Allan Poe’s Fall of the House of Usher. I mentioned that even though several months had passed, we were still disturbed by one of the creatures in her story.

Kingfisher flashed me a smirk and gave me a little fist pump.

That was it. And that (and a picture) was enough.

·      Try to get their attention by mentioning something unusual: Everyone gets praise about the thing that made them famous-a signature song or book or album. Compliment them on things that are more unusual, what are often called “deep cuts”.

Ambushing Wil Wheaton after his panel

Another example from LAConV. When I approached Wil Wheaton, I didn’t mention his iconic roles in Star Trek: The Next Generation or Stand by Me. I thanked him for organizing a variety show he put on at San Diego ComicCon, Wootstock. I told him how much the event meant to me, that I looked forward to it every year. He shot me a shy grin and said thank you.

 A friend of mine also did this when she spotted F. Murray Abraham at the airport. At the time, Abraham was riding high with an Academy Award nomination for his role in Amadeus (he would go on to win the Oscar).

My friend shouted out, “I loved you as the grape in that Fruit of the Loom commercial.” The actor stopped, looked at my friend, and roared with laughter at the mention of an early role in a commercial. He shook Julie’s hand and said ‘you just made my day’ before he hurried off to his flight.

·      Don’t be afraid to get personal (within reason):

Always keep in mind that musicians, authors and other celebrities are people. They’ve experienced their own trials and tribulations. Sometimes, opportunities arise to share personal moments with them. When I first met the members of the Australian band The Church, I was recovering from a recent fight with my boyfriend. I explained why I looked upset (I had been crying on the way to their show.). They sympathized, sharing stories of challenge and heartbreak. They invited me to a party after the gig. My boyfriend decided to show up and hang out with me, even though we hadn’t resolved our issues. As I watched my boyfriend talk to the band, the lead singer, Steve Kilbey (who I had a rabid crush on at the time), walked over and murmured in my ear, “Dump him.” The others in the band approached me and offered the same advice. I broke up with the guy shortly afterward. I mean, who can argue when an entire band tells you that your boyfriend is a jerk?

Another time, I was hanging out with the lead singer of an L.A. band and mentioned my frustrations with a geometry class. He sat me down and told me he understood how I felt but urged me to keep plugging away. He told me he dropped out of high school, and it was something he always regretted. When I mentioned my plans to go to college, he asked me to drop him a note once I was there. When the time came, I kept my promise, not expecting to hear anything back. I got a lovely note a few weeks later. He told me I had been on his mind, and he was glad I “made it”.

Obviously, these pointers are not iron-clad, but they serve as a good guide for introducing yourself to people you admire. And always remember to read body language. I’ve considered approaching people, only to decide against it because they made it clear they didn’t want to be disturbed. This is especially true when they’re eating or in the bathroom. It’s never a good idea to approach people when they’re in basic maintenance mode.

Still, I can count on one hand the number of times I didn’t approach someone.

Just put yourself out there and see what happens.

I think you’ll be surprised and have some fun stories to tell!